Building a Family and Career For Women
Women have a lot to grapple with when it comes to building a family and building a career.
It can be very overwhelming for a woman having to create a new family for herself and also trying at the same time to create a life for herself.
I remembered when I was in the second semester of my LLM, International Dispute Resolution with a focus on Arbitration, Mediation and Negotiation.
This was a beautiful course I had searched for, and for Humboldt University Berlin to begin this course right there in Berlin where my family lived at that time, I was super elated!
It was too much of a coincidence the day I saw it online, and that it was going to be taught in English.
My set was the first set, and I was the only Nigerian among them.
I was super determined I was going to pass this degree in flying colors.
That was my second Masters Degree and I had a greater responsibility to do well while at it.
I needed that degree to be able to fully entrench myself in the German work system
It was beautiful while it started, I was energetic, joyful and a serious learner :))
However at second Semester, I discovered I was pregnant with our second baby.
I was hoping that this pregnancy would not shake me like the first, but OMG when I got to six weeks it started to shake me real bad that I lost total interest in my Masters.
I just wanted to quit!
I was weak, I was nauseous and I was just tired of everything.
I went to see the administrative officer in charge of the program and begged her to let me defer it, she said I should manage.
That they could give me about three weeks off or thereabout.
I took the holiday and I allowed the sickness to take its due process in my body.
At this point I also had an active toddler, my son who needed utmost care.
My husband was also at the peak of his PhD and sometimes he was away from home on research.
I had no friend around, so it was extremely difficult.
I went back to school to beg them to postpone my project till the following year, but the admin didn’t allow it, thinking back now I realised she was my angel.
She encouraged me to write my project anyhow and just come and defend, and that they were going to understand.
That was how I kept on pushing and with the help of my supervisor and admin. I was able to complete my project.
At this point the nausea had gone, and it was now all about fatigue.
I defended my project, and I passed!
On the day of my graduation, my name was the first on the list, and I marched out with my big belly to collect my certificate in so much joy and pride.
Everything I went through prior to then was all like a dream and had all faded away.
I don’t know what you are battling with, but I want to encourage you never to give up on yourself and on your career.
It is OK to be a stay at home mom who just wants to care and nurture her kids.
As long as you are happy and you find fulfillment in this, then you are fine, and never feel guilty or allow yourself to be guilt tripped.
It is your life, and you are responsible for it.
Your happiness is paramount and that is all you should care about.
However, if you have a dream of building a career, or upgrading your degree, or even going back to school entirely to create the ideal future for you, please go ahead!
Don’t ever give up!
Create a mindset of possibility.
There is no mountain that is insurmountable.
The only thing stopping you is YOU!
Fight for your life, fight for your future, fight for your career.
Your mentality determines your future.
Develop a mindset of ZERO TOLERANCE to failure.
You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
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My name is Oluwatosin Olajumoke Arodudu, OOA for short!
I am always here to encourage, inspire and give you hope.