Raised by a single mom and not ashamed
I have come across people in the journey of my life, I mean friends, acquaintances and even elderly people, that wanted me to apologize or dwell in apology for coming from a broken home, I wonder now if they were the ones that came from a broken home, or was it their broken home? So why do they want me to be apologetic for something that was not my doing, something I had no control over? Kai (gosh) my eyes have seen in this my life sha lol(I have seen a lot in this life).
One of the greatest fear that plagued me all my life was what I might likely encounter when I want to get married, but I thank God for a wonderful family in law now my family, who never batted an eye lid at me, nor made the fact that I was from a broken home an issue not to marry their son and brother.
Waow I can never forget how my mom in law, infact she’s more or less like my grandma, stood solidly behind me and never for one day questioned me on any fact as regards coming from a broken home, she never acted like I was plagued or a disaster waiting to happen, for this I shall love her and her son forever lol. I will never forget her solidarity, and I saw first hand what having Christ and dwelling in love meant, every member of the family proved to me what it was to have Christ and extend love. I do not say this to them, I am not so much of a mushy mushy love declaring person, but I love and cherish everyone of them with my whole heart, may we always remain bonded for life in Jesus name, Amen.
While we are on the subject, recently my mom told me a story I have never heard from her before, it was something that happened when we were little, she went to invite her friend and her kids for my brother’s tenth year birthday party, she went there feeling thrilled that her first child was going to be ten and she wanted friends and their kids around to celebrate with us.
On getting to the house she met her friend with the husband and told them about the upcoming birthday, her friend’s husband asked her why she was feeling elated? Instead of her to go and settle with her husband she’s busy organizing a birthday party for a child outside his father’s house, he further topped it by saying any child not raised in his father’s house amounts to nothing and ends up a never do well!
My toes curled up and I had a terrible sinking feeling at the pit of my stomach when mom told me this story. I wondered and asked how she felt after hearing those words, she said she told the man her children would do well by the grace of God, and she left feeling nauseous and dejected, she felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach.
How do people get comfortable blurting out wicked talks against another human, how comfortable was that man when he uttered those words? I understand the fact that he felt insecured at the face of mom’s happiness and joyful mood at the upcoming celebration without her husband, peradventure he had no money to celebrate his child’s upcoming birthday, or he wanted to leave a mark by curbing his wife indirectly not to feel joyful or be part of the celebration of a single mother “o ma she ooo” ( what a pity) after all happiness and celebration is only allowed when you are married.
A single mother is not allowed to celebrate or be joyful, she has to always wear a sad demeanor in order to please the world, jokers!
This man wanted to clip his wife’s wings lest she gets negatively influenced by a single mom but was that enough reason to spew such heavy and wicked words against a fellow human and her children? Let me stop defining this man, the sort of adjectives coming to my brain is unbecoming of a child of God (and I am still born again lol).
It’s this same single mother that prodded and pushed us into being active kids in church. We were involved in most of the kiddies activities ranging from boys brigade to girls guild to bible quiz to bible studies to children drama group actively, there were days our holiday was cancelled because we needed to take lead roles in Children’s drama, there was even a time mom had to come pick my brother from our grandma’s where we were holidaying for Easter so he could act Jesus and appear to people in Galilee lol, no one could act it like him, the child of a single mom was the only one that could interpret the role perfectly. A single mom whom the whole world sees as being condemned!
I met Christ through all this, most of the word I know today from the bible were words that were sown in me whilst involved in church activities while I was a kid. You dare not miss church in my house infact it was alien staying at home on a Sunday.
I am saying all this to let you know that most single moms are awesome and responsible mothers, they make their kids priority and never ever give up on them. I implore us to have positive words for this women, they are strong and hard-working. It’s not easy training kids by yourself.
Are you a single mom? Sister, you need to be able to stand up to nay sayers for your kids, you need to be able to be their champion and defender. The world is dangerous sister, you need to tighten your seat belt, you just cannot afford to allow anyone belittle you or your children because you are a single mom. It’s unfortunate you found yourself in such a situation, but you can’t afford to wallow in self pity. Your awareness on how dangerous the world can be has to be on a top notch now that you are a single mom.
Don’t let anyone make your kids feel less than whom they are because they are being raised by a single mom. You need to be strong and you need to be their friend so they can confide in you. You need to make them understand how great they are constantly, you have to continuously help them build a solid self esteem in order to weather the storm out there.
Most importantly you have to train them in the way of the Lord because I tell you mom, there is a hurricane out there that children from broken homes face from time to time and it’s only God’s word and love that can keep them going. There are days you would break down sister, but you need to dust up and take up this responsibility life has tossed at you.
In conclusion let us endeavor to encourage single moms from time to time, let us stop bringing them down because of their status, let us always offer them a helping hand when we can and not stigmatize or ostracize them. Some of them are suffering from depression already but they keep up this bold face because of their children we shouldn’t compound it by bringing them to ridicule. Remember no condition is permanent friends, do not look down on a single mother or her children, her child might be the gateway for your child’s success in life.
So would you encourage a single mom and a child from a broken home today?
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Have a beautiful week ahead.
image 1 culled from naira land.com, meme created on top of the meme on it by OOA of musings and thoughts.