My topic is weird right? I cracked my head for long to find the appropriate title but I just couldn’t express myself better than this, so please manage it lol.

I have heard and seen friends crossing the line in marriages, not respecting themselves and maintaining their boundaries.

You go to your friend’s home as a man, you obviously are not that close to his wife(if you are close to both of them, then camaraderie is fine and fun) but you are not close to the woman and you got there throwing your weight around? My mom calls this “oun gbetan”(literally meaning throwing your lap around)without an iota of restraint.

Let me tell you a secret dear sir, women detest this habit a lot once they are not close to you. We absolutely respect a friend of our husband’s who understands boundaries, limits and when to draw the line. I have heard of some friends screaming at an obviously fagged out woman to hurry up with the food, and asking her husband how he copes with her sloppiness in the kitchen. kai(gosh) wish I had the shocked smiley here to express my disgust at this attitude.

Dear man and friend, do you honestly think that woman equates to your wife?  Do you honestly think she has to submit to you just like she submits to her husband?  I am sorry to burst your bubble, she owes you no iota of submission, all she owes you is respect as a friend to her husband and you owe her an equal respect as a wife to your friend.

I have also heard of some friends pin pointing the fault of their friend’s wife to him and comparing her inadequacy to the perfection of their own wife. Dear husband, that your friend is a big fat liar, I am sorry to say, he is enduring a seven fold of what you are whining about in your wife, and he wishes you could switch your wife with his. Please stop listening to him, he is only leading your marriage on the path of collapse. A good and sensitive friend  would not make such comparison, it can only be borne from a vain and envious heart.

To my dear women, you go to your friend’s home on a visit and all you can see is the fault of her husband on such a short visit, even if your visit is long, is it your husband? Is it your fault? Why poke your nose in what is not your business? Your friend Is an adult if she needs to whine to you about her husband, trust me she would confide in you, till then please mind your business and concentrate on your visit please. Don’t go sowing seeds of doubt, fear and distrust in someone else’s marriage.

To those women who always compare what their husband does for them with what their friend said her husband does, I mean in terms of care and all that, I am sorry, you are on your own o, making such comparison in this era of vain glory?   Hmmmm if only you know how good some women are in praise singing, you wouldn’t even give them a second thought!

Be contented with where you are, and see the beautiful side of it, rather than dwell in comparison. Comparison and unhealthy competition would only create problems in your marriage.