The other woman, popularly known as a side chic is a woman who is having an affair with a married  man. Often times she is aware that the man is married, and sometimes she is ok being the other hidden woman. At other times, she is not ok being hidden, and as she gradually climbs up the ladder of the affair, she gains the courage, and boldness which makes her  become a dangerous known or unknown competitor to the wife of the man she is having an affair with.

We all know how difficult some married men are, they are so difficult, so arrogant and careless as to put the emotions of their wives in consideration. Some of these men are so unapproachable that their wives practically tip toe around them in the marriage. So I understand the plight of a woman who is married to a man like this and feels her first point of reaction is to face her husband’s side chic.

Dear married woman I will not judge you if you do this, however I will implore you NEVER to tow the line of violence. Violence is evil, do not be violent lest it becomes an issue that spirals out of your control, also do not EVER go  begging another woman to leave your husband. It is humiliating, it is denigrating, and it gives your husband’s side chic more power over you. Understand that while we have a few side chics who would pity you and yield to your plea by leaving your husband, majority of them will disgrace, embarrass and cook up many lies against you before your husband, so please it is safer not to ever go violent or go begging a side chic to leave your husband alone.

While we are still on the subject, I have never really  supported the line about leaving the side chic alone and holding only your husband responsible for committing adultery. That line about your husband being the one that entered into a marital agreement with you and that the side chic owes you nothing sounds so permissive knowing the kind of men many African men are, men whom their wives cannot caution or question. That statement sounds so permissive and could embolden any woman to get comfortable in an affair with a married man. This kind of statement is what some side chics have capitalized on in order to keep dating a married man.They are so emboldened by these believe, and they get so bold as to flaunt their affair in front of the man’s wife. Some even go as far as close marking the innocent wife and monitoring her movements just so they can be one step ahead of her.

The devil even pushes some of these side chics to place a call to the wife and threaten her to shift for them so they can pack their baggage into her home.
Yet our society has become so permissive to the extent that the side chic is given a pass mark for being bold, brazen and smart while the wife gets demonized for even attempting to react if she finds out.

Some of these side chics even justify there affair with such men by the fact that the man’s wife is ill mannered, therefore she pushed her man into their arms.

Some go as far saying that the wife is a lazy woman therefore they are assisting her in areas where she has failed to cater to her man.

There are some that also back their actions up by the fact that the wife just had a child, and she is starving her husband of sex so they are there to provide the succor the wife ‘selfishly’ denied her husband.

I laugh at these excuses, I laugh in derision at the lame and naïve mindset behind it.

You see, dear side chic, you will eat your words like a humble pie when you eventually become a wife.

Then I want you to do something for the world, come back and tell the whole world how hard working and efficient you are in taking care of your home, kids and darling husband when you eventually become a wife.

Come back and tell us how you did various sex styles with your husband when you just had a baby.

Come back and tell us how you were so eager to have romp in the bed with your husband despite your episiotomy, peradventure a fourth degree tear.

You owe us that explanation on how your husband refused you to hire a house help and you were still able to maintain a spick and span home every moment of the day.

Dear side chic you must also come back and tell us how you never for one day reeked of iru and ogiri (locust beans) while you were in the kitchen and your husband attempted to hug you.

You must also tell us how you always kept your make up on 24 hours 7 days in order to always remain beautiful to your husband.

Tell us how you were able to keep your sanity having to chase after children and also be 100% attentive to your husband.

Tell us how you never snapped one day at the burden of having to balance a career and a home.

Tell us how you remained the perfect, elegant wife and mother all the days of your life in your marriage. Only then would you be justified in the excuse of providing succor to another woman’s husband.

Until then please do us a favor, stop the justification of your selfish act and agree that you are a covetous being who only desires what another woman has.

In conclusion I do not agree with that view that you don’t  owe that woman the duty of care to stay off her husband. You owe her big time!

She is justified if she gets angry at you, while I would advise her never to get violent with you, you and her husband both deserve her anger because she is human and she is in pain!

You owe the children the duty of care to stay off their father.

Women and children’s right go together, you can’t be a women advocate and comfortably be a side chic. A true woman advocate would realise the destructive web she is spinning against another woman and her children by dating her husband and their father, and she would not dare, and if she has dared she would desist from such act because her conscience would not let her rest.

This is how you people divert a foolish man’s attention away from his family. The children suffer these things for years, you create bitterness and pain in their hearts by your wicked and selfish liaison with their father.

Please have some humanity, stay away from another woman’s husband. Allow your unborn children to come through an ideal family setting where their peace would not be taken away by the brunt of polygamy or a dysfunctional family.

Unseating another woman in order to seat yourself in her home would only create an imbalance in your entire life, it never goes away, it runs from generation to generation.

You are better off with your own husband than being a side chic who gives another woman a sleepless night with an intention of taking her place permanently.

Finally, women need to support women to build a better society rather than pull other women down to build themselves up.

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