Many years ago, a woman and her two children came to visit our family from a nearby town. I think they came from Abeokuta. They came unannounced…my parents were not expecting them either. They were distant relatives to my dad.

My dad used to be so strict o, and he wont take that from anyone back in the days but my mom has obviously done a good work in his life. Or else, she will visit and go back that same day by force.

You don’t just pack a bag and come with kids for the weekend without prior notice.

Anyways, my parents welcomed them and for that weekend, mom made them as comfy as she could. When they were to return to Abeokuta, my mom asked if my dad was going to give them money for transport. Dad said yes, he will give #2000.

My mom said, ha #2000 ke? It could have costed not less than #2000 for them to come here, they may not even have anything to take them back home either.

Dad said to my mom, “you know right now we don’t have funds to spare, it is so not convenient and even this #2000 means a lot to me. Besides, did she inform me before coming with kids? I can only give what I have please”.

My mom said “aah no, please don’t let us do that, doesn’t speak well of you. Thankfully, I have some money I just collected from my business let me add #3000 to it to make it #5000.

I will also see if there is any food stuff in the house I can pack for them to take along. Even if it will only last for a week, it is something”

Mom gave the woman the food items and while dad gave her the money when he dropped them off in the nearby park.

The woman thanked my dad profusely and told my mum bye and on getting to Abeokuta called my mom that she was trying to call my dad but he isn’t picking. So can she give the phone to dad? That she just wanted to let him know that they had arrived and to thank him again for the money and food.

I wonder where people get some funny ideas that when you are helped or gifted with anything, it must be the man, your family member alone helping you. Or you should only appreciate him secretly cause the wife is the witch that will always prevent him from helping you. Was it also my dad that cooked for her while they were around that he is the only one who should know you have arrived safely and be thanked? But for my mom she would have gotten only #2000 alone!

Only God knows, how many times different similar scenario has played out between my husband and I too.

I honestly don’t need anyone thanking me cause my husband was kind to them, the one that irks me most is trying to be coded when asking for help and trying so hard to ensure I don’t hear about it. I laugh in my dialect. NOTHING goes out that I am not aware of. I have access to all his accounts and cards are with me but I don’t even need to check his account, he will even inform me first. My husband who will hear a message come into his phone and will tell me to please check the message for him or who sent it. In fact, if I don’t remind him of some things, he will remember 3 months after the request.

Many wives are not who you think they are and are often times more empathetic. And because, we married into a family, does not mean we have come to “block” any goodwill. My MIL will to the littlest things call both of us for any thing we send to her to say thank you. And in fact, If my MIL needs something today from my husband and he hasn’t responded to it, she knows that I am definitely not in the know because If he did not forget to mention it to me, she knows something MUST have been done about it ASAP. Me that I will keep singing it as a song or get the funds needed myself. So she is happy to tell me anything and I will relay the message.-

Some acquaintances will call and ask if his wife is around first so they know if it’s okay to ask for help? Mtchew. You better stop this nonsense especially if you know that the couple in question is close, don’t bother writing funny text messages or looking down on the wife cause in reality, we make things happen.

So respect yourself and respect us and try to remain in our good books cause if we mark your face ehn, we will give him good food first, rub his head on our chest in the evening and tell him to give you #500 for the #5000 you requested for and that’s what will happen or delete your text completely, or even just remind him of all the outstanding bills he has for the month depending on the severity of your sins over time. 🤣🤣🤣

Written by

Yimika Anita Okeowo

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And OOA says let us share the grace hahahahahahaha.