I remember one saga that happened on Facebook in 2017, I think it started in December 2016, however I got to know about it in 2017 and I watched as a ‘silent watcher’ lol.
It was a live chat thing, and it was between some Yoruba women and some men in UK and Ireland.
Some people know about this saga.
In fact back then it was a hush hush affair and you must think twice before you discuss this fight with people in public lol.
This was where I saw for the first time how dangerous and vindictive some people can be.
This was a fight where women disgraced each other with their personal lives, their past, their marriages, their children, their financial lives, their health, gosh I mean this fight was vicious!!!
People who commented with their real profiles were made a scape goat.
Once your comment was caught by the other faction in the saga, you are finished, you will be stripped, your family members would be dug out and made a scape goat.
It was during this fight I learnt the word ARABU in Yoruba.
Arabu means to conscript lies in other to defame, destroy, slander and cheapen the worth of another person before the whole world.
This women did it to themselves and I was so so afraid of the length people would go to destroy another person.
May we not fall into the hands of vicious, and insane narcissists.
Their only aim is to destroy you, and they would do ANYTHING to achieve this.
After a while I ran away from watching their live chats, they were so toxic and mentally draining, but I learnt a lot about humans during that saga
Dear women be careful, I am also writing to myself.
Stay discerning.
I don’t like to write like this, or become paranoid about human relationships.
But day in day out I learn how desperately wicked the heart of many people are.
Once you notice a bad vibe around you, quickly address it or stay away
Filter your circle.
Stay away from cliques.
Stay on your lane.
Be friends with good women, and you also remain a good woman to the women in your life.
Stay away from disloyal women.
Stay away from women who derive joy in dragging down people.
They are always gleeful to see others fall.
They are all over this social media.
Stay away from them for your mental health.
Keep your secrets secret.
Stop using gossips to cement your friendships.
You can be friends with a fellow woman, beautiful and focused friendship without envy, competition and gossips at play.
I know this very well, because one of my aim last year was to filter my circle.
It was a difficult, almost destructive journey but I ACHIEVED it to the glory of God.
The women that I share a beautiful relationship with now, are women that we espouse the same values.
Be wise in choosing your friends.
Be very very wise!
As they are choosing you, you better also choose them.
In your definition of friendship, have integrity.
Be the woman who builds, not the one who tears down.
Even thieves have codes of honour, be a honourable woman and friend, even when the chips are down.
When you act dishonourably towards another woman out of bitterness, envy and the aim to destroy her, it strips you of your own honour, you are also destroying yourself in the process.
Proverbs 25v9:10 “In the heat of an argument don’t betray confidences, word is sure to get around and no one would trust you.”MSG
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