Sometimes last year, I watched a video which went viral. In that video  a church was holding a women only meeting . It was time for questions and a woman stood up and narrated her marital ordeal. She talked about how her husband smokes, gets drunk and exhibited all sorts of destructive attitudes. She said he was also jobless and beats her up at every slightest opportunity.

Before the woman finished speaking one of the guest speakers responded with an attack. She kept on going about not beating down an already down man (yes I agree).  She kept on using issues that were so unrelated to justify her admonition of the woman. She kept going on and on and the poor woman just stood and listened. That poor woman stood there in that public gathering with an already broken heart and got her heart broken all over again. One could see the misery and despair on her face.

After watching that video, my heart got burdened, anger welled up in me, a wave of sadness overwhelmed me.  I was angry at the church and how they sometimes beat down the downtrodden whom they are meant to uplift. I was able to quell that anger because I knew God for myself, and I  knew how precious I am to Him. But this beggars the question, Is this how some of these churches honestly wants to continue putting women down?

Blaming them for any issue in their marriages?

Waiting to pounce on the woman at the slightest opportunity that she did something wrong in her marriage?

Showing no love, no empathy, no sensitivity but judgment all the way?

Manipulating and emotionally blackmailing her?

Quoting proverbs 31 woman all over the place?

Refusing to address the underlying issues with these men who behave this way,  and creating bitter women who have grown a great resentment for the church and the gathering of the brethren?

And we wonder why a lot of rebellion is going on and people developing a reprobate heart towards the things of the gospel?

One other common occurrence  is that when some pastors and church ‘counsellors’ are counselling a couple they would blast the woman, tear her apart and make her feel like a devil.

A woman who came to discuss her problem with you gets further torn apart without you admonishing the husband right there.

You go behind her back to admonish the husband claiming that men do not like to be talked down on in the presence of their wives, then the man gets back home to resume his bad habit in a more terrible way to the amazement of the wife.

Who says women also like to be talked down on?

We have really magnified this thing called ego of a man whereas it is simply pride laced with scorn for women.

We keep saying men need honor and respect,  who says women do not need honor and respect too? I sure know I hate to be disrespected by anyone and I know some women who are like this too. The bible says  “Likewise you husbands, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” 1 peter 3:7.

Honor is written in that bible verse so women need honor and respect from their husbands too. Enough of the constant battering of women by the church and the brethren. Some of these brethren do not even know any other bible verse aside the ones for marriage. And I have discovered this subjugation of women by the church is not only done by men, women also help to further beat down other women in the church.

These kind of women act overly righteous and like they are infallible, whereas if you have a peep into some of their homes they are as cantankerous as they come, yet they mask it and beat down other women publicly in the church.

The church needs to begin to look inward  if it is  going to conquer the wave of immorality and disdain for the order of God that is eating deep into the society.

The church contributed to it, the church must look inward and change it’s ways so they can stop turning women away from God.

Dear woman, God says you are priceless, a Jewel of inestimable value. Begin to know God for yourself.

Do not allow yourself to be blackmailed and condemned.

Do not allow anyone to dig fingers into your brain and toy with your mental health.

I love you  and God even loves you better.

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Thank you.

Image credit: Withintheblackcommunity.blogspot